~::The ForSaken::~
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>~::DEMON'S CHILDS::~
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im here again ... heh....
woke up today with my eyes sore and got a flu ... argh .... i needa go work no matter wad as my college is on MC ... and im still under the probation ... hope this flu wont go from bad to worse ...
Wakie in the mornin 1st thing i took my HP and see if darlin replied me anot ... but in vain ... she didnt .. =/ hence i smsed her mornin greeting again ... but yet to get her reply ... =(
till noon ard 2+ then got her reply saying she is having fun in school .. wonder what is she doin too heh ... and guess she nv went home last nite too ... oh well .. if she is having fun ... i guess i wont ask much and let her have her fun with her frenz ... as i told myself not to be a spoilspot again ... but ... darlin i miss u ... i need u .... upon seeing ur msn nick " i cannot see whats infront.. where is my guide " .. i so wanna tell u that ... let me be ur guide ... and lead u to a happy ending .. but i know ... i have not prove to have done my part ... i will work hard on it ... darlin ...hope u can wait till i succeed and come back into my arms ....
ogee ... i needa go work soon le ...
missya darlin ... i really do ....
Hi my long lost blog... till now.. i wonder if any1 is still reading this blog... im sorry blog... i cant really get a person to be my listening ear ... so here i am to tell u...
Its been awhile since Ellen broke up with me .... im so lost .... so so very lost...and even cried inside my pillows almost everysingle nite till now ... i know... i understand deep inside my heart that its totally my fault to result in this stage ...for u to suffer 3 years of my nonsense ... for my lack of will to fight for a better future for us both ... for my thinking of everything will be alright when it aint goin the right way at all ... and the bottom line is that ... im all messed up...and im the culprit for all the bad times we got.. i must admit that.... but im really changing ..
i dont know if its too late to change and try and get her back in my arms.... but.. i will try ... i cant fail ... i really really cant fail ... as i really think im only left with 1 and only slim chance left....and i dont know if u are willing to wait for me or not ... i really do not know ...
As from what i see now ... u seem so happy with ur friends and im kinna neglected ... mayb its ur form of style that wants me to concentrate on the plan.. but darlin ... my heart really hurts.. to u ,we might be still frenz and u wont needa treat me like some1 special ... but to me ... u are always the some1 special and gonna be my darlin forever deep inside my heart .. and i dont think any1 can replace u inside my heart ... well u might think by time passes or when i meet some1 new things might change... to me ... it will nv change ... i will wait for u ...
I know u have many suitors... and u have been goin out and bein closer and closer to them ... i know im in no stand to stop u nor talk bad things abt them as i dont know them ... but my heart really hurts deeply ... on the night out when i saw u in cyclone ... watching u putting ur hands on to the guy's face ( mayb u are playing / cold ) but when he grabs ur hands ... my heart shattered ... and eyes were brim with tears ... m trying to hold them .... and the next moment seeing another suitor with his arms ard ur waist .... [i know it might be the words i said to u way back in time as in " if u see other gals clinging on me or hugging me.. darling dont get jealous oh .. " ( well m now very very very very very very very regretful for saying this ...) ] My heart completely got ripped apart .. i knew i couldnt take it any more .. as if i stay inside for a min more ... i will burst out in tears and i wouldnt want u to see that ...as it will spoil ur mood since u are like having fun with ur frenz ...
im really sorry if im a spoilspot for the nite ... im sorry ... but ... i really cant bare to see it ... that is y i went out of cyclone and went to a spot where there is no 1 and banged my fists / head onto the walls to try to venge some anger / sorrow out with my tears running down my face ( till now i can still see the bruises on my hands )... im sorry for being this weak ... im sorry ... i just ..... i just .... really couldnt bare to see the sight of it...
oh well here it goes again ... heh... guess i aint no manly at all ... tears rolling down face like it always used to be when i hide myself in my pillows ... heh guess the sky is with me tonite .. its gonna "cry" too ...
guess i should stop here ... gdnite all ...
missya darling ... i really do ... T_T
Darling... here is a short poem from me to u ...hope u like it ...
i want to save in my hands the speed of your walk,
and how we took turns
to catch up, slow down, slipping into
a common pace.